'..They are (close) as garments to you, as you are to them'. (Al Baqarah : 187)
When I was still working with LtD, working on the #LtDEid2016 collection which was inspired by ModernRomance, I was a bit focused on the work itself to really sit down and think of what the message this wonderful ladies were trying to share to all the LtDWomen.
I am a bit slow in that department, I have indeed a person that just sometimes just go with the flow (you know when life gets really hectic, with many parts of you seems need to be divided to catch up with all the things and chores you need it to do, you just do it all without getting to think really hard whats the real purpose of it all).
Yes, I get overwhelmed with chores and my kids wantings sometimes, and admittingly after choosing to leave Wp, and things that happened there. I was really down but being a mom, wife, daughter I couldn't just lay around and get buried in my thoughts, so I shavel all the feelings away but you know we womens are indeed sensitive creatures aren't we, no matter how macho we like to show on the surface, so it didn't really go away it stayed inside, and trying to hide it wasn't helping at all.
For a year plus, I was just like on the mode of going of the flow.
Focus the important stuff and getting it all done. That's all.
I have joined this new company (RYO) for close to 2 months now, and today it all somehow becomes a bit clearer to me. Told you, I am slow.
2 weeks back I got to know of a news that one of my close friends back in Wp from got offered retrenchment and the other she was handed the letter was also her last day, really sad to hear the news, especially when she's also staying very strong with her husband being ill and still going through therapy. but insyaAllah i think there's hikmah behind it all. and there was also other ex-collegues before this that had similiar stories.
but only with this latest news, i think finally my heart decides its time to let it go.
it really wasn't the easiest decision for me to make and many times I worry that I made the wrong decision. that might be the very reason of making it hard to let go. because whatever I do impacts the people that I love dearly, so I was worried and deep down inside I wasn't happy tho I was trying to be calm on the surface. something like what's written here, I was trying and thinking of ways to try solve it alone.
Putting all what I have learned and experienced this past 1 year.
and going through this phase, my other half is being so understanding about it all. I just realize when I am all messy inside, my house is left messy too. and he has been so ever patient with all this.Well, I do get the weekly laundry done, fold it and all. haha. if not, we are all left we no clean clothes. like I said before I only get tthe important stuffs done. the 'me' before will wakeup much earlier in the mornings, to make sure that everything gets settled and organize before everybody wakes up, but during all this ordeal, on the weeekends I sometimes wake up later than my kids (thats how teruk I've become).
This 2 weekends when I started pushing myself a bit more in the household department, for the year past, i just clean all that can be seen, this 2 weeks decided to do the one's behind the tv shelf, under the sofa, and this weekend was the girls room, under the bed. I think you can imagine how much work is needed. All this while, kinda like only cleaning up all that can be seen, somehow like what I did to my heart.
so how do I sum up all this into Romance, its hard to say it in words, but he understands and accepts me like no other. like I don't have to tell him what I'm feeling at a certain moment, he just understands and give me the space I need. and he indeed without saying knows what I was feeling for this past year, without me even knowing or realizing it myself (yea, you could call me clueless), he gave me the time I needed to heal, and didn't complain of all the things at home that was pilling up. above all, he did many wonderful things, that sometimes go unnoticeable and I didn't took time to appreciate.
Thank you Allah SWT for blessing me with a wonderful partner.
